Blind Can You Can

Tag: family

  • You’re Always a Parent: Why the Job Never Ends (Even After They Grow Up)

    You’re Always a Parent: Why the Job Never Ends (Even After They Grow Up)

    My parents like to say, “You’re a grown man now — you’re your own responsibility.”
    And honestly… they’re not wrong.

    There comes a point in life when you’re responsible for yourself. You pay your own bills, make your own decisions, and deal with the consequences — good or bad. That’s not a bad thing. That’s just life doing what life does.

    What I don’t agree with is the idea that a parent’s responsibility somehow expires when a child grows up.

    You never stop being a parent.
    You never stop being your child’s mom or dad.
    That status? It’s permanent. No expiration date. No return policy.

    Does your responsibility magically end when they turn 18? Of course not. Yes, they need to learn independence. Yes, they need to stand on their own two feet. But loving them, caring for them, worrying about them just a little too much? That never goes away.

    You may not always be able to help in the same ways. Maybe you can’t invest in their next grand startup dream. Maybe buying them a house when they get married isn’t realistic. Maybe they moved far enough away that you can’t show up at a moment’s notice anymore (thanks a lot, geography).

    But none of that means you stop caring.
    None of that means you stop loving.
    And it definitely doesn’t mean you stop being their parent.

    Your role may change. Your abilities may shift. Sometimes you take a step back instead of stepping in. But your heart? Your heart stays all in.

    Your child will always be your child — and in some way, they will always be your responsibility.

    In many ways, parenting mirrors how God loves us. No matter how far we drift, how badly we mess up, how old we get, or how stubborn we become — we’re never forgotten. We’re never abandoned. We’re always in our Father’s heart.

    And as parents, there’s something powerful to learn from that.

    Our job doesn’t end. It evolves.

    For those who don’t consider themselves believers, think about it this way: don’t you still want the universe to be on your side? That’s what parents are. That’s what we’re meant to be for our kids — the constant in their corner.

    They might outgrow the material support we can provide. They might not need our money, advice, or solutions anymore. But they will always need us to be on their side.

    Because no matter how grown they are…
    They still need the universe behind them.

    And to us parents — that universe is called love.

    If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
    How has your role as a parent changed over time?

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    Because parenting doesn’t end — and neither does love.

  • Finding Your True North: Breaking Free from “Do Not” Thinking

    Finding Your True North: Breaking Free from “Do Not” Thinking

    Habits of the mind are trained and developed from a very young age. Looking back, I can see the bad habits I formed as a kid—habits that made me comfortable and gave me excuses to avoid doing hard things. It was always easier to say “no” when I had a justification.

    Now, as a parent, I get to watch my son navigate his world. He’s on the spectrum, and while he has his likes and dislikes like any kid, sometimes I see something in him that I lack. When he’s working alongside other kids, many of them focus on what they don’t want to do, what they can get away with skipping, or what they can avoid. But my son? Sometimes he gets so laser-focused on the prize—whether it’s a toy or a reward—that nothing else matters. He powers through the “I don’t want to” feelings, the “I can’t” doubts, and even the “I’m too tired” moments. He just really wants it, so he keeps going.

    Then I look at myself. I don’t have the same excuse of being a child, yet as an adult, I find myself fixating on what I can’t do, what I’m scared of, or what I’m “too good” or “too tired” to attempt. Why can’t I tune it all out and chase the prize the same way my son does?

    Growing up, I heard a lot more about what I should stop doing than what I should keep doing. I was trained to focus on what I wasn’t supposed to do, what I couldn’t do, and what I was incapable of doing. Sure, I also heard the “shoulds” and “musts,” but the ratio of “don’ts” to “dos” was way out of balance.

    And I think that’s not just my story—that’s society. From parents to teachers to peers, we’re constantly warned, corrected, and guided by “don’ts.” Step outside society’s guidelines, and the punishment is often subtle but painful: being ignored, excluded, or pushed out of your circle. That fear of rejection can be more powerful than any punishment a parent could hand down.

    Of course, there’s value in following moral and ethical boundaries. But when it comes to your mindset, ambition, motivation, and drive, society’s overemphasis on the “don’ts” can steer you away from your true path. Instead of following the direction God has laid out for you—or the compass in your own heart—you start following the crowd. You doubt yourself. You conform instead of walking your unique journey.

    To keep moving forward, you need to recalibrate your compass to your true north. Not the one handed to you by peers, parents, or social media, but the one aligned with your authentic self and, if you’re spiritual like me, with God’s purpose for you. Don’t let others steer you off course.

    Life’s fog will always roll in, but if you keep your eyes on your own north star, you’ll never be lost.

  • What Wet Pants Taught Me About Priorities, Passion, and the Freedom to Play

    What’s your priority?

    As a kid, it was simple.
    “I want to play.”
    “I want that video game.”
    “I want that snack.”
    And we definitely knew what we didn’t want:
    “I don’t want to do homework.”
    “I don’t want to eat vegetables.”
    “I don’t want to go to bed.”

    That kind of honesty is crystal-clear when you’re little—and yesterday, I got a wild reminder of it from my own son.

    Picture this: I’m at home when my son bolts back inside from the backyard… and pees. Not in the bathroom. Nope—in the living room.

    My first thought? Why on earth would you do that?
    But as I stood there—confused, annoyed, and slightly impressed by his audacity—I started to think: What was going through his head that made him think this was the best option?

    As the frustration faded, it hit me:
    He had made a decision. His priority was play. Nothing else. Not even peeing in the toilet—or finding a tree in the backyard. Fun was his mission, and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. Not even… wet pants.

    Sure, after the fact, I made him clean up the mess. (Let’s be honest, I had to re-clean it afterward.) But even as he was half-heartedly wiping the floor, I could see it: his mind was still on the game, on the sunshine, on living.

    So I kept thinking about it.
    Why was it so easy for him to let go of everything else and just focus on what mattered to him?

    Then came the deeper truth:
    As adults, we overcomplicate everything.
    We block our passions, our dreams, our joy—because we’re afraid of a little discomfort, a little embarrassment.
    What will people think?
    What if I fail?
    What if my pants get wet?

    But here’s what my son’s “accident” taught me:
    You can always change your pants.
    You can’t always get back the time you didn’t spend doing what lit you up inside.

    My son wasn’t embarrassed. The other kids didn’t even notice—or care. They were just having fun, fully present, fully alive.

    Meanwhile, we adults stack excuses like a game of Jenga:
    “I’m too old.”
    “I have responsibilities.”
    “What if I look stupid?”
    “What if people talk about me?”

    And all that fear? It’s mostly in our heads.
    Most people aren’t even paying attention to us half the time.

    So here’s my takeaway, learned from a small puddle and a very determined little boy:
    Do what matters. Follow the joy. Don’t let fear, pride, or discomfort stand in your way.

    If you want to play, go play.
    If you want to start that business, launch that project, write that book—go do it.
    Let’s stop waiting until everything is perfect. Because perfect never shows up—but time keeps ticking.

    Sometimes, the biggest lessons come with wet pants.
    So be brave enough to chase your joy, even if it means getting a little messy along the way.

  • Fatherhood, Forgiveness & Showing Up: A Father’s Day Reflection

    Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

    The last couple of days, I’ve been reflecting on parenthood. With Father’s Day weekend here, it felt like the right time to share a few thoughts about the transformation that comes with becoming a parent—because for me, parenthood isn’t just part of life, it transforms life.

    Father’s Day, just like Mother’s Day, can bring up all kinds of emotions. For some, it’s a joyful celebration. For others, it’s a day of remembrance or even forgiveness. Whether you’re a dad yourself or someone reflecting on your own father, one thing remains true: fatherhood is complicated, beautiful, and deeply human.

    Here’s the message I want to share—no matter the kind of dad you had (or have been):
    We all try our best.

    Your father did his best.
    You’re doing your best.
    They tried. You tried. We’re all out here trying.

    So wherever you are on that spectrum—whether your relationship with your father was strong or strained—take a moment to be thankful. Cherish the good memories. Forgive where you can. And keep the love in your heart, even if it looks a little different than what you hoped for.

    As for us? Let’s remember we don’t have to be perfect parents. We just need to keep showing up. Be present. Love deeply. And give our kids the kind of love we always wanted ourselves. This isn’t a competition or a scorecard. This is life—and it’s messy, unpredictable, and wonderful.

    Whether you’re guiding your kids or healing from your past, just remember: your presence is powerful. A kind word, a warm hug, a shared laugh—it all matters more than you think.

    So this Father’s Day, give your loved ones the best of you. That’s more than enough.

  • Parenting Isn’t Easy—But Neither Were We: Lessons from Both Sides of the Mess

    Terrible twos. Troublesome threes. Preteen drama.
    It seems like we’ve come up with a phrase to describe how kids can be a handful at every stage of life. Don’t worry—there are terms for us adult “kids” too.

    I won’t lie—sometimes kids really can drive you up the wall. They’re not little angels 24/7, but hey, they’re our kids, so we give them a pass (most of the time).

    Looking back at my own childhood, I have to admit—I probably deserved a few of those punishments I got. I said my share of “no’s” and talked back more times than I can count. It starts with “don’t put that in your mouth,” “don’t stick your finger there,” “hurry up and get dressed,” “finish your food,” “go to bed!” Then, as they get older, it escalates to: “don’t do drugs,” “don’t get pregnant,” “don’t take the car without asking!”

    Sometimes it feels like all we do as parents is tell our kids what not to do.

    It’s hard—I get it. Often, the only time we jump into “parent mode” is when something’s going wrong. We’re trained to intervene mid-misbehavior in hopes of correcting it. But when our kids are behaving? We breathe a sigh of relief, quietly enjoy the peace, and move on to the next crisis.

    Especially when you have more than one kid, it’s tempting to think, “They’re quiet? Thank goodness. Let me just soak this in.” Until the next mess explodes in the living room.

    That old-school mindset? Yeah, I fall into it too.

    Then the blame game begins. I catch myself blaming my own parents for how they raised me—too much discipline, not enough praise, not enough explaining. But here I am today, still trying to figure it out myself, defaulting to the same “bad cop” routine I once resented.

    Sometimes I wonder if our kids are really trying their best. Remember Dennis the Menace? He caused chaos, sure—but half the time, he was just trying to help or satisfy his curiosity.

    As parents, we’re trying our best too—just trying to raise kind, respectful, capable human beings. It’s inevitable we’ll hand out some consequences. But I hope we don’t forget to balance discipline with encouragement. To sit down, talk with our kids, explain things, and remind them: One mistake doesn’t define you. You’re good enough to grow beyond it.

    And for those of us who are now grown-up kids?
    Let’s also take a moment to forgive. Our parents weren’t perfect, and neither are we. Some childhood wounds are deep—and if that’s the case, talking to a therapist might be the best path forward. But for the smaller stuff, maybe it’s time to let it go.

    Remember the good times. The laughter. The lessons. The moments of grace. All of it shaped us into who we are today. And now we get to choose how we parent our kids—and how we relate to our parents.

    No one said it would be easy. But maybe that’s the beauty of it—we’re all just learning together.