Tag: grief

What do you do when that overwhelming feeling isn’t just “I said yes to too many things” — it’s a full-on life crisis?

Maybe you bought a house with a mortgage you can no longer afford because your job changed. Maybe you doubled down on a business or an investment and it went sideways — badly. Now the light at the end of the tunnel feels like a mirage. You can’t even take “one step at a time” because the path looks like a loose LEGO set with half the pieces missing.

When the options really feel closed, sometimes the hardest and most practical choice is acceptance. Acceptance that something didn’t work out. Acceptance that you might need to take a loss. That could mean letting down a friend, disappointing your kids, or admitting to your church family that you’re struggling. Honesty in those moments is painful but also the best path forward — people usually respect the truth more than they respect perfection.

There are situations where failure is on a bigger scale: a business that can’t be saved, a rental property that’s bleeding you dry, or a personal setback that feels insurmountable. I’m writing this while facing a couple of those exact realities. I know how paralyzing it is to stare at the paperwork and the what-ifs. I know the late nights and the churn of anxiety in your chest.

Sometimes the most courageous move is to “tap out.” In jiu-jitsu, tapping means you accept the position and stop the fight so you can live to fight another day. It’s not surrender to weakness — it’s an intelligent decision to preserve your capacity for future battles.

So what does “tapping out” look like in life?

• It might mean closing a business and thinking through bankruptcy instead of sinking further.
• It might mean selling a house at a loss to stop the monthly hemorrhage.
• It might mean apologizing to people you’ve let down and explaining, honestly, what happened.

There is no shame in choosing to stop the bleed. You’ll feel grief, disappointment, even failure — and you should. Those feelings are real and deserve space. But grief doesn’t have to be permanent. After the tap, you can rest, rebuild, and show up again.

Ask yourself: do I want to go down with the ship, or do I want to survive and rebuild? Pride makes us want the heroic narrative where we push through and win against all odds. Reality sometimes says the heroic narrative is to cut losses, learn the lesson, and come back wiser.

Remember: life isn’t fully under your control. There are storms, shifts, and forces beyond your plans. Letting go is not a moral failure — it’s often a strategic survival move. If this is your season to let go, do it with honesty, humility, and the intention to learn. Tap out. Breathe. And prepare to fight again — smarter, leaner, and stronger.

Does that thought ever pop into your mind?
The one that whispers: I’m too old for this. Too good for this. Too rich for this.

Well, here’s the hard truth—you’re not.

When I was a kid, there were plenty of things I didn’t want to do. I didn’t like reading. I didn’t want to practice the violin. And waking up early for Chinese school on Saturday mornings? Forget it. But at the end of the day, I still had to do them—at least enough to get by.

Now that I’m a dad, I hear the same soundtrack playing through my son’s complaints. He doesn’t want to go to school. He doesn’t want to do homework. He doesn’t want to get ready for bed or eat his vegetables. The cycle continues.

And let’s be real—it doesn’t magically disappear when you grow up. Adults have their own list: pay bills, pay taxes, wake up for work, clean the house. Some tasks never change, no matter your age.

Then there are the big ones—the things no one wants to face: illness, injury, emotional trauma, loss. Life throws these at us whether we’re ready or not. And unlike those little tasks, you can’t outsource or ignore them forever.

Sure, money and resources might soften some blows. You can hire a maid, a nanny, a tutor, or even a mechanic to deal with the small stuff. You can prolong certain things with treatments, trainers, or quick fixes. But sooner or later, life catches up. No amount of money, status, or friends can buy you an escape from pain, loss, or heartbreak.

Remember the Final Destination movies? You can run all you want, but destiny catches up. Life works the same way.

So at some point, you have to turn around and face it. Crying, complaining, or avoiding won’t get you off the hook. I tell my son this all the time: “Crying doesn’t get you out of homework. By the time you’re done crying, you could’ve already finished it.”

And honestly, that applies to all of us. The energy we waste avoiding reality could’ve been spent overcoming it.

Even with life’s hardest challenges—the ones that leave you grieving, shaken, or broken—you still have the capacity to move forward. Yes, mourn if you need to. Get help when it feels overwhelming. But eventually, you have to accept reality, stand up, and take the next step.

Because at the end of the day, we all have the ability to get through what’s in front of us. Some may have more resources than others, but every single one of us has the inner strength to face life’s unwanted tasks—whether big or small.

So don’t cry about it. Don’t avoid it. Just do it. Because life isn’t waiting—and neither should you.