Blind Can You Can

Tag: healing

  • The Real Buy-In: Fueling Your Dreams Beyond the Whys

    The buy-in has to be bigger than the prize. Let me say that again—what you want must be more powerful than all the “whys” holding you back.

    Most of us start by asking, “Why am I doing this?” or “Why should I even try?” That sounds logical. But here’s the problem—if your “why” isn’t solid enough, you’ll fold the moment things get hard. You’ll lose the energy to get back up when life knocks you down. Worst of all? You’ll lose the willpower to even get out of bed.

    Let’s be honest—life has a way of wearing us down.
    Work. Bills. Kids. Relationships. Health. Hustle.
    There’s always something trying to sap your energy.

    But life doesn’t hit pause just because we’re tired.
    The kids still need to be cared for. The job still needs to be done. The relationships still need attention.

    Too often, we burn out—not because we’re lazy or incapable—but because our buy-in was too weak. We were aiming halfway down the track instead of the finish line.

    Here’s the truth:
    If all the “why” questions in your head can convince you to stop, it’s a clear sign—you didn’t want it enough.
    And that’s okay! But it’s something we need to recognize and own.

    Because if you don’t believe in yourself—if you don’t truly want that goal—no motivation, no podcast, no guru is going to carry you through the hard days.
    The “why am I here?”, “why am I doing this?”, “why is this worth it?” questions will start echoing back with answers like:
    “You’re not good enough.”
    “This isn’t worth it.”
    “This is too hard.”
    Until finally, the loudest thought becomes: “Maybe I should just give up.”

    So how do you fight back?

    You get crystal clear on what you really want.
    Not what your parents want. Not what society tells you to chase. Not what looks cool on Instagram.
    Your dream. Your desire. Your calling.

    You will never fully buy in to someone else’s dream. If you try, you’ll end up half-hearted, uninspired, and exhausted. But when you know deep in your bones what you want—something that speaks to your spirit—your motivation becomes limitless.

    Think of it like Iron Man’s arc reactor.
    When your dream is truly yours, it powers everything—your focus, your courage, your energy, even your patience.
    With that in your arsenal, you’re not just fighting to win a single battle—you’re equipped for the whole war.

    So what’s the takeaway?

    • Find your dream.
    • Tune out the noise.
    • Don’t let your life be scripted by well-meaning friends or scrolling social media.

    How do you figure out what you really want?
    For me, it’s about getting quiet.
    Find a peaceful space—maybe out in nature. Silence the distractions. Quiet the mind. Breathe. Reflect.
    Let your soul guide you toward the truth. I know, it sounds a bit woo-woo, but hey… it just might work for you too.

    Because at the end of the day, your goal, your dream, your life—it’s your arc reactor.
    Only you can switch it on.

  • Gratitude vs. Growth: Can You Be Thankful and Still Want More?

    At this very moment, I find myself torn—do I fully accept what I have, or do I dare to want more?

    It’s like one of those age-old debates: love vs. money, or which came first—the chicken or the egg? But for me, the internal tug-of-war is between acceptance and ambition.

    There’s this message we often hear: “Be thankful for what you have.” Sounds nice, right? But depending on your mindset, it can feel either peaceful… or like a polite way of saying, “Just settle.” Some interpret it as a way to justify not reaching higher—like telling yourself, “I didn’t make it, but hey, at least I tried.” Others see it as a beautiful reminder to appreciate the blessings in life, even when they’re not perfect. It’s the classic glass-half-full perspective.

    Then there’s the flip side: wanting more.

    Some see the desire for more as a sign of drive and courage. The hunger that fuels greatness. Others might see it as greed, or worse—restlessness with no gratitude. Society loves to both glorify ambition and judge it at the same time.

    So where do I land in all this?

    Personally, I lean into being thankful for what I have. But not in a “throw in the towel” kind of way. For me, acceptance is about neutral awareness. It’s not saying “This is good” or “This is bad.” It’s just acknowledging, This is where I am. Financially. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. It’s like checking in on social media—no filters, no ratings—just letting the world (and yourself) know: “This is my location in life right now.”

    Why does this matter? Because in life, no matter what happened yesterday or what others have done to you, you always have a choice. That choice defines you.

    When people say, “Well, that’s just how I’ve always been,” it’s often a sign of resistance to change. An unwillingness to reflect or grow. They’re stuck—not because they have to be, but because they choose to be.

    And that’s where wanting more becomes a vital part of the mindset. Not “more” in a greedy, power-hungry way. But “more” as in: growth, evolution, abundance—not just for yourself, but for the people you love and the community around you.

    Wanting more so you can give more.

    It’s not selfish to dream bigger. It’s not greedy to want to improve. It’s about building on the foundation of gratitude—because without accepting where you are, how do you even know where to go?

    So here’s what I’ve come to believe:

    ✅ Acceptance gives you solid ground.
    ✅ Ambition gives you a ladder.
    ✅ And abundance? That’s the roof you build to shelter others.

    If you’re feeling conflicted between being content and chasing your goals, maybe it’s not an either/or. Maybe it’s both. Be grateful. And keep growing. The world needs your best—and so do you.

  • Fatherhood, Forgiveness & Showing Up: A Father’s Day Reflection

    Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

    The last couple of days, I’ve been reflecting on parenthood. With Father’s Day weekend here, it felt like the right time to share a few thoughts about the transformation that comes with becoming a parent—because for me, parenthood isn’t just part of life, it transforms life.

    Father’s Day, just like Mother’s Day, can bring up all kinds of emotions. For some, it’s a joyful celebration. For others, it’s a day of remembrance or even forgiveness. Whether you’re a dad yourself or someone reflecting on your own father, one thing remains true: fatherhood is complicated, beautiful, and deeply human.

    Here’s the message I want to share—no matter the kind of dad you had (or have been):
    We all try our best.

    Your father did his best.
    You’re doing your best.
    They tried. You tried. We’re all out here trying.

    So wherever you are on that spectrum—whether your relationship with your father was strong or strained—take a moment to be thankful. Cherish the good memories. Forgive where you can. And keep the love in your heart, even if it looks a little different than what you hoped for.

    As for us? Let’s remember we don’t have to be perfect parents. We just need to keep showing up. Be present. Love deeply. And give our kids the kind of love we always wanted ourselves. This isn’t a competition or a scorecard. This is life—and it’s messy, unpredictable, and wonderful.

    Whether you’re guiding your kids or healing from your past, just remember: your presence is powerful. A kind word, a warm hug, a shared laugh—it all matters more than you think.

    So this Father’s Day, give your loved ones the best of you. That’s more than enough.

  • Parenting Isn’t Easy—But Neither Were We: Lessons from Both Sides of the Mess

    Terrible twos. Troublesome threes. Preteen drama.
    It seems like we’ve come up with a phrase to describe how kids can be a handful at every stage of life. Don’t worry—there are terms for us adult “kids” too.

    I won’t lie—sometimes kids really can drive you up the wall. They’re not little angels 24/7, but hey, they’re our kids, so we give them a pass (most of the time).

    Looking back at my own childhood, I have to admit—I probably deserved a few of those punishments I got. I said my share of “no’s” and talked back more times than I can count. It starts with “don’t put that in your mouth,” “don’t stick your finger there,” “hurry up and get dressed,” “finish your food,” “go to bed!” Then, as they get older, it escalates to: “don’t do drugs,” “don’t get pregnant,” “don’t take the car without asking!”

    Sometimes it feels like all we do as parents is tell our kids what not to do.

    It’s hard—I get it. Often, the only time we jump into “parent mode” is when something’s going wrong. We’re trained to intervene mid-misbehavior in hopes of correcting it. But when our kids are behaving? We breathe a sigh of relief, quietly enjoy the peace, and move on to the next crisis.

    Especially when you have more than one kid, it’s tempting to think, “They’re quiet? Thank goodness. Let me just soak this in.” Until the next mess explodes in the living room.

    That old-school mindset? Yeah, I fall into it too.

    Then the blame game begins. I catch myself blaming my own parents for how they raised me—too much discipline, not enough praise, not enough explaining. But here I am today, still trying to figure it out myself, defaulting to the same “bad cop” routine I once resented.

    Sometimes I wonder if our kids are really trying their best. Remember Dennis the Menace? He caused chaos, sure—but half the time, he was just trying to help or satisfy his curiosity.

    As parents, we’re trying our best too—just trying to raise kind, respectful, capable human beings. It’s inevitable we’ll hand out some consequences. But I hope we don’t forget to balance discipline with encouragement. To sit down, talk with our kids, explain things, and remind them: One mistake doesn’t define you. You’re good enough to grow beyond it.

    And for those of us who are now grown-up kids?
    Let’s also take a moment to forgive. Our parents weren’t perfect, and neither are we. Some childhood wounds are deep—and if that’s the case, talking to a therapist might be the best path forward. But for the smaller stuff, maybe it’s time to let it go.

    Remember the good times. The laughter. The lessons. The moments of grace. All of it shaped us into who we are today. And now we get to choose how we parent our kids—and how we relate to our parents.

    No one said it would be easy. But maybe that’s the beauty of it—we’re all just learning together.

  • Staying Present: Parenting Lessons from Full House, Family Matters, and Real Life

    As a parent, we carry a big responsibility—to raise our kids right.

    To be honest, I’m still figuring it out. Maybe parenting isn’t something you master in a year or two. Maybe it’s a lifelong process of doing your best, learning as you go, and praying you don’t mess it up too badly.

    Before I had kids, life was simple. Even with a disability, things were flexible. I didn’t need much. I’ve always been kind of a minimalist—content with the basics. But everything changed the moment I became a parent. Suddenly, I wanted to provide. Provide a good home. A good education. A good life. Hopefully you can relate.

    There’s no clear manual for life after kids. Sure, there are endless parenting books, podcasts, and “expert” tips—but none of them truly prepare you. Sometimes I find myself looking back at old family sitcoms for inspiration—Full House, Family Matters—you know, the classics. Sprinkle in some advice from the professionals, and here’s what I’ve come to believe:

    The most important thing you can do as a parent is to be present.

    Kids aren’t born into this world asking for the latest gadget, a five-bedroom home, or organic quinoa bowls. They just want love, comfort, and connection. It’s us parents who put the pressure on ourselves—to move to the right neighborhood, get them into the best schools, provide the “perfect” childhood.

    But it’s not our kids asking for that. It’s us trying to do our best—and that’s beautiful. But let’s remember: it’s a gift to provide, not a burden. Kids are a blessing, and we have the privilege of being their guide.

    At the end of the day, they just want us:
    To hug them.
    Celebrate their birthdays.
    Read them bedtime stories.
    Hold their hand when they’re scared.
    Be there when they score the winning goal (or miss it entirely).

    Kids are simple. It’s us adults who complicate things.

    Sure, they talk back. They make messes. They sometimes make you want to pull your hair out—but hey, that’s another blog post for another day (maybe tomorrow).

    Today, I just want to reflect on the parent-child connection.

    Danny Tanner and Carl Winslow weren’t perfect dads, but they showed up. They were present. And that mattered. It mattered so much that even the neighbor kids—Kimmy Gibbler and Steve Urkel—wanted to hang out at their houses. That’s the power of presence.

    I’m not pretending I’ve got this all figured out. But I know one thing for sure: I can’t win the game of parenthood if I’m not even on the court.

    So, for every tired parent out there reading this: stay on the court. Show up, even when you’re not sure how to play the next move. Be the best version of yourself in the moment—not trapped in the past or worried about the future. Just here. Now. Present.

    And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.